Opening Rant

 It is days like today that I remember all the shit I had to go through in life so far. Now I am not complaining or bitching, well bitching maybe just a wee bit. I mean I feel like I have every right to, but then again that's being a fucking selfish, petty little bitch. Mama raised no bitch!

It is best if you know a little about me, so when I go off and say shit like "all the shit I been through in life" it makes fucking sense to you.  Let's see, how can I put this in a nutshell... Ok, here we go, please follow and ask questions later. My moms got pregnant with me 6 years after her tubs got cut and put out of order. I was born a month early and died at birth but came back, then kept in a plastic box for god knows how long.  My sister died at birth, at 18 my brother was murdered, by 21 my mom dies, then life showed me the ins and outs, one hell of a ride.  I take a path to change my life and I get screwed by my family and locked up then my Dad dies followed by my grandma and my wife of 7 years was creeping around while I was fighting for my freedom on a bogus case that I can't believe got picked up by the DA. There it is in all its glory, but of course, you know I will explain everything in more detail as we go along. 

Let's get back on topic here or the reason I am even up this late writing this thing. Today the better half of me(and I mean that with all sarcasm). Pulled another, selfish fucking move again, right when she knew I had an interview for a job I actually wanted. She knew I was getting ready for it and instead of helping me out, she fucking dumps our youngest on me and goes to her fucking job. This is the third interview I have taken my kids to because she has something to do and couldn't find a sitter. I really wish my grandma was still here, hell I wish my entire family was still here, I could only imagine the support I would have gotten. I am not talking financially but just a safe place to have my kids so I can go to work and make some money for the family. The decision she made on not validating my situation and my feelings are very degrading and lowers my feeling of being the man. She doesn't care because she is good and she has shit working for her, I can't just leave the kids like she does, it eats at me from the inside when I leave them. I just want to protect them and watch over them, their home is broken and I know they are scared and lost. I once was in that boat, it's not easy for a child to go through something like that. A child needs both their parents, it plays an important factor in the child's development and helps them be more confident growing up. But What the Fuck do I know??!!'